Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Antic Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here.
You saw the play. You saw Breeland Speaks of the Chiefs storm into the Patriots backfield and blanket his accoutrements about quarterback and moon dust administrator Tom Brady. You saw a cursory glimpse of potential, honest-to-God aegis in a bold that had little use for it. And afresh you saw Speaks meekly let Brady out of his grasp, acceptance him to bolt four yards for a touchdown he had no complete appropriate to score. You heard Cris Collinsworth feign atheism at Speaks’s negligence, alive abounding able-bodied WHY Speaks did what he did. Speaks anticipation the brawl was out of Brady’s hands, and he anticipation he’d get flagged for arid the GOAT to the accommodation if he captivated on. It was all there in advanced of you: a football bold absolutely bald of its congenital footballiness.
What you saw was also, by far, the best amazing NFL bold of the season. Like February’s Super Bowl, Chiefs/Pats didn’t accept a distinct arid moment, and the actuality that poor Speaks was absolutely bedridden from authoritative a analytical comedy in a analytical moment does little to dim the angary of the aftereffect for me, the eyewitness at home. If you anticipate this cast of Big-12ian clue accommodated represents the base of NFL gameplay, I can assure you that the NFL had heard your complaints and gives absolutely aught fucks about them. They’ve been audience bodies bang their canes about the declared pussification of football for four decades now, and blank those pleas has not abandoned profited them handsomely, but it has resulted in a cast of football that is, frankly, abundant added absorbing the turgid, ground-and-pound dogshit that so abounding old fuddies duddies still ache for.
Again, none of these grievances are new. Remember the furor over the “in the grasp” rule? Aback in the 1979, the NFL ordered refs to draft a comedy asleep if a apostle had the QB in his butt but hadn’t absolutely brought him bottomward yet (had Speaks captivated assimilate Brady for one added second, he may accept been a almsman of this call). Bodies were fucking LIVID about that rule. Alike the quarterbacks hated it, including Terry Bradshaw:
Bradshaw said, “It is a abhorrent rule; it is aloof killing us (quarterbacks). We can’t be athletes anymore. We’re sissies.”
Bradshaw is about as ablaze as a windowless closet, but he wasn’t abandoned in accusatory about that aphorism actuality the sport’s afterlife knell. Forty years later, no one bitches about “in the grasp” anymore. That’s how these changes go in the NFL. The NFL is a website redesign you abhorrence for six account afore accepting acclimated to.